Ch. 15: A Photographic Spectacle

It wasn't long after Julia finished her coffee that she needed to find a place for a potty-break. They had reached Columbia, and she pulled the car off the Interstate to find somewhere to go, and ended up parking it at a gas station. 

She turned to look at Lara. 

"You want me to get you something?"

Lara picked up the Starbucks card she received from Keith.

"No, but maybe we can find one of these places?" She answered.

"OK" Julia said. "I'll be right back. And this time, you stay in the car!"

Lara watched Julia walk into the gas station convenience store. She spotted someone pumping gas into their car, and noticed he was looking at his cellphone while waiting for it to finish. She got the idea to walk over to him and ask him if he could find Starbucks in Columbia for her. Part of her still recognized it was not a smart move to make, but a larger part of her was convinced she needed to learn how to do thing on her own while in the nude.

She opened the car door and walked briskly to him.

"Um, hi!" Lara addressed shyly with a smile. "I was wondering if you could look on your phone for a Starbucks near here?"

The man laughed.

"Oh my God, are you for real?" He asked in a deep voice, sounding pleasantly surprised.

Lara grinned and made a cute face.

"You want me to look up a Starbucks?" He added.

"Could you?" Lara winked.

"Lara!" Julia yelled out, walking towards her.

Lara looked back and saw Julia coming.

"Well, sure..." The man answered, tapping buttons on his cellphone.

Meanwhile, people began to gather to watch Lara standing naked. Some were snapping photos with their cellphone.

Julia wasn't long and soon walked out of the convenience store, not realizing that Lara had walked out. When she got to her car and noticed Lara wasn't there, she looked around. It took her a minute, but finally found Lara talking to man putting gas into his car.

"Lara!" Julia scolded "Come on, get back in the car!"

"Wait, I'm trying to find a Starbucks!"

"It's OK!" The man assured. "I'll find one real quick."

"Come on!" Julia insisted, making a serious face. "I'll find a Starbucks for you!"

Lara made a similar facial expression in return, waving her hand at Julia to stop pestering her. Julia was quite upset and walked towards Lara.

"There's one on 747 Saluda." The man said. "Do you know where that is?"

"We'll find it!" Julia answered, trying to grab Lara's hand.

The man laughed.

"I'll be happy to lead you there!" He offered.

"No, it's OK..." Julia tried to answer.

"Yes please! Thank you!" Lara interrupted.

"Lara!" Julia yelled. Lara shook off Julia's hand, which made her more angry. But instead of forcing Lara, she made an angry face.

"We're doing a study for a college experiment." Lara started to explain to the man. "It's to see how generous and polite people can be for a naked woman."

The man smiled and nodded his head. "College experiment! Gotcha, OK..."

"Pose for me girl!" Another man's voice shouted out. It was a guy dressed in in a football jersey, wearing a baseball cap turned backwards. Lara obliged by raising her arms up and jutting her hips forward.

The man pumping gas finished and put the fuel pump away.

"Lara, come on let's go!" Julia pleaded.

"Nice!" The other man taking the photos commented. "More Baby, more!"

Lara made several sexy poses in the nude by the fuel pump. She liked the idea that this man expressed positivity and wasn't laughing at her. Other people started gathering. The man who had finished pumping gas got into his car.

"You gonna follow me?" He asked.

"Gimme some more video!" The man shooting photos demanded.

"You got money?" Lara asked.

"Money? Yeah, I got money! Whatcha wanna do for it Baby?"

"Lara! Now! Come on!" Julia yelled, trying to take Lara's hand.

"Hey, hey!" The man shooting photos interrupted Julia. "We're talking money right now!"

The man waiting in the car put his vehicle into drive and began pulling away from the pump. Bystanders who were trying to watch Lara slowly moved aside.

"No, come on Lara!" Julia shouted back, grabbing Lara's hand and pulling her towards her.

The two girls walked briskly back to Julia's car. The man in the car had already pulled out of the gas station and parked along the curb waiting for Lara and Julia.

"You don't even know this guy Lara!" Julia complained as the two girls got into their car.

"No, follow him! He's going to take us to Starbucks." Lara pleaded.

Julia took in a big breath.

"Look, if we don't get to a Starbucks in 10 minutes, I'm getting back on the Interstate. I'm not taking anymore chances."

"Fine, fine." Lara answered.

Ch. 14: Lara's First Interview

"Uh, miss?" The man spoke out as he approached the two.

Julia looked back to see who was calling. It was another man who had been seated in the patio, and overheard the conversation.

"Hi, I'm Keith, a writer for a college newspaper, and was curious about this nude project you talked about?" 

"Um, no. She can't talk right now!" Julia answered.

"Uh miss? I was just thinking it might make for a great feature in the paper." He tried to go around Julia.

"She can't talk right now. Can you please leave us alone!" Julia insisted. 

"It just sounded like a really interesting project, that's all!" He added.

"You want to do a feature?" Lara finally asked quietly, able to break out of her alter after hearing something positive.

"Yes! A feature! I mean, this sounds great!" Keith answered.

Julia rolled her eyes and looked frustrated. She finally let go of Lara and continued to set her danish and drink down inside the car. She watched and listened, making sure Keith didn't take advantage of Lara.

"Yeah, OK." Lara acknowledged.

Keith fumbled around in his jacket, and finally pulled out a business card and handed it to her.

Lara looked at the card.

"Oh, Trident Technical," She read aloud. "I thought about going there!" Lara said. 

"Really?" Keith asked. "You go to school now?"

"Um, yeah. College of Charleston. We're doing the project there."

"Wow, amazing! So what kind of project is this?"

"It's to travel from coast to coast to California completely nude with no money, and see how other people react." 

Keith acted surprised and excited. "Oh my God! That's crazy!"

"Naked, all the way to California?"

Lara nodded, "Yup!" 

"Wow, that's crazy! What is this social studies? Or behavioral... whatever?"

Lara paused, unsure what he was talking about.

"It's Women's Studies." Julia chimed in, trying to cover for Lara. 

Keith opened his mouth and nodded his head. "Oh, women's studies. Yeah, that makes sense! Right!

Keith opened up a notebook to start jotting down notes.

"Wow, that's awesome. Both of you are driving all the way there?"

"No, Julia's driving to Fort Wayne. I'm just tagging along."

"Then how will you get to California from Fort Wayne?" Keith asked.

Lara smiled, looked back at Julia, and then looked back at Keith.

"Well, I don't know right now! That's part of the study. It's just to see what a woman can do with literally nothing!

Keith shook his head again in disbelief, smiled, and wrote down in his notebook. Meanwhile, Lara seemingly had fully left her traumatized teen alter and was back into "real Lara".

Lara chimed in again. "It's also about how other people will react to a naked woman in public."

"Right, right! That makes sense! So, did you start here in Charleston, or where?"

"Yeah, right here in Charleston. We just left today, actually." Lara replied.

"And a great today too, right?" Keith added. "And you're really going to go naked all the way to California?"

"Yup, that's the plan!" Lara smiled confidently.

Julia took a sip of her coffee, watching to make sure this guy would not do anything dumb with Lara.

"And how long do you think it's going to take to get to California?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe sometime this year?"

Keith continued taking notes.

"I mean, the plan is be spontaneous and use whatever resources I can find, and take whatever people can offer. The point is to see, like what Julia just said, how people will react to a naked woman in public."

"That's amazing!" Keith said, still shaking his head in disbelief. "So what made you decide to do this?"

"Oh, well I've been a nudist since I was little, and I just..."

"She was the best candidate for the study!" Julia interrupted Lara, sensing she was about to give too much personal information. "The other women involved just don't have the experience with nudism."

"Oh, so you're nudist in real life too?" Keith asked.

 Lara smiled and nodded her head, "Yup!"

"Like all the time, or...?"

"All the time! Yup!" Lara continued to smile.

"What about the stuff in the car?" Keith asked, noting suitcases, dufflebags, and plastic storage boxes. 

Lara looked back at the car, and then looked back at Keith. 

"Oh, that's all Julia's stuff."

"Well what about a purse, or a wallet, or a cellphone?"

Lara shook her head. "I'm only allowed to have whatever people give me."

"Not even any identification?"

"Nope!" Lara said with a laugh.

"Wow, that's crazy! And this is women's studies? Do they do this?"

"Well why not?" Lara asked.

Julia felt the need to chime in again.

"It's a lot about how people objectify women, or make assumptions when they see a naked woman."

Keith nodded his head, trying to understand, but having difficulty.

"Wouldn't you need video cameras to document people's reactions and stuff?" He asked.

"We're on a small budget." Lara explained.

"Ahh! Yeah, totally understand. So, when you get to Fort Wayne, do you already have someone there to continue driving you, or are you just going to wing it and find some random stranger?"

"We don't know!" Lara said, smiling. "I mean, if I can find someone to meet me there, or maybe I have to just wing it!"

"Crazy! I mean crazy! Well, I can't wait to see the result of the study!" Keith commended. "Do you mind giving me a call every week or so to give me an update?"

"Yeah, of course!" Lara said. "If I can get to a phone!"

"Right!" Keith acknowledged. "Hey, can I get a photo of you two for the article?"

"Uh, well..." Julia chimed in again.

"It's OK!" Lara argued, turning her head to look at Julia.

Keith grabbed his cellphone and held it up. Lara put her hands on her hips, presenting herself with pride with Julia behind her.

Keith reached for his wallet and pulled out a Starbucks card. "Here, take my Starbucks card. There's about $25.00 left on it. You can get yourself something to eat or drink."

Lara accepted it.

"Oh, Thanks! Yes!" She cheered.

"Well, I'll let you two go. Good luck OK?" 

Lara walked up to Keith and gave him a hug. Julia waved her hand goodbye, and then got into the car, with Lara following her in. Lara showed her the gift card. 

"You see, I said I would figure something out!"

Ch. 13: Naked at the Coffee Shop

Julia wanted a coffee and danish before getting on the Interstate, and drove to her favorite Starbucks shop.

She parked the car several rows away so that customers wouldn't notice Lara seated nude in the car.

"I'm going to get a coffee and danish. Do you want me to get you one?"

"No, I'll be OK."

Julia got out of the car and walked to the coffee shop.

Lara watched.

Five minutes went by when Lara spotted a man walking out of the shop with a cup of coffee and a newspaper in his arm. He was wearing a business outfit and looked rather clean cut. She took a couple of breaths, and then closed her eyes momentarily. Then, she opened the car door and got out, and approached him.

The man smiled and laughed slightly at the sight of a young, angelic, but completely nude girl looking right at him.

"Uh, hi!" She said.

"Hi." He said right back, continuing to walk to his car.

Lara turned to follow him.

"I hope you don't mind, but I would really like a cup of coffee and was wondering if maybe you spare me a few dollars..."

The man continued to smile and laugh. He unlocked his car door and got in, seemingly trying to ignore her. She stood and watched him start the car and drive away.

Lara felt rather dumb. She never intended to beg, yet here she was trying to beg. As he drove away, she remained standing in the parking lot looking back at the coffee shop, and noticing other people seated in the outdoor patio staring at her.

She paused for a moment and recalled a time several years ago when she and Teresa were at a local burger restaurant. An old man had struck up a conversation with them, and the two girls spent several minutes laughing at his jokes. He thanked them by offering to buy them some lunch. They declined, but the gesture left an impression on Lara.

She walked to the patio of the coffee shop, and found a table where a man was seated with his laptop.

"Hi." She said to him. "Mind if I have a seat?"

"Uh, no... go ahead." He answered, looking at her naked body.

Other people in the patio were looking at Lara in amazement, some were giggling, and others were whispering, while others picked up their cellphones to record video.

An elderly woman at another table spoke out, "Uh miss, why are you naked?"

Lara looked over at her. "It's just a research project I'm doing." She lied in a polite tone.

"A research project?" The woman questioned, and then waved her hand at her in disbelief.

The guy with the laptop computer spoke out, "What kind of research project is this?"

Lara looked puzzled and found it difficult to come up with a reasonable explanation. She noticed the people whispering to each other and shooting video of her with their cellphones. She realized she was in over her head, and started to feel herself dissociating into another one of alters, that of the traumatized teen.

In the months after Lara and Teresa were forcibly separated, Lara found herself unprotected from the ridicule and pestering from other kids in high school. Unable to deal with the name calling and confrontation on her own, and fearful that they would all descend on her, she became traumatized and unable to react. Eventually she learned to escape to the school library, ironically one of the few places students visited and hide there. But in moments like this, where she didn't where to escape to, or where to find protection, she froze up, made herself small, put her hands together up to her chest, and lowered her head against her hands.

"Lara?" Julia spoke as she walked into the patio. "Oh my God Lara! What are you doing out here?"

Lara looked up at Julia, but was unable to answer.

"Come on! Right now! Let's get back to the car." Julia demanded, grabbing hold of Lara's arm.

Lara got and followed her.

"I thought you were going to stay in the car!" Julia scolded, trying to balance her drink and danish in one hand, and leading Lara with the other.

About halfway to the car, a man approached them from behind.
 

Ch. 12: The Adventure Begins

Lara was finishing her breakfast when the doorbell rang. She knew who it was. Julia.

Lara's younger brother answered the door.

"Lara! It's Julia!"

Lara's mother sat at the kitchen table, putting her cigarette down on an ashtray. Her eyes were red from not getting any sleep that night. She put her hands up to her mouth, and took in several deep breaths to calm herself down.

"I'm going to miss you." Lara's mother spoke.

"I know Mom."

Lara finished off her toast. Her mother had cooked up a big breakfast for her, scrambled eggs and lots of bacon. It was going to be Lara's last home cooked meal.

Lara drank down the remaining apple juice in her glass, wiped her mouth and got up.

"Wait a minute, gimme a hug and a kiss." Her mother asked.

And Lara wrapped her arms around her, to which her mother held her nude body tightly.

"Tell Julia to call me, OK?" She spoke.

"I will."

Her mother started to cry.

Lara let go, eager to get going, as if she had no care in the world.

She walked quickly out of the house to meet Julia.

"How did I know you would be going nude?" Julia asked.

"I'm doing everything nude for now on!" Lara responded.

Lara walked to the car, opened the door and sat in the passenger seat. Julia got inside.

"Uh, where's your stuff?" Julia asked.

"I'm not bringing any stuff."

Julia let out a short breath in sarcastic tone. "Uh, what?"

"This is it. I'm not bringing anything!"

Julia sat back in her seat and dropped her hands to her sides. "You are not, serious."

"I'm serious!" Lara said musically.

"You mean you have no money? No identification? No clothes??"

"Nope."

"How are you supposed to eat?"

"I'll find something, you don't have to worry about me." Lara waved her hand, "Come on, let's get going."

This was the "real Lara" yet again, in all of her daring, her bravery, her smarmy, and even kinky demeanor.

Julia kept her look on Lara for a few more seconds, then started the engine and slowly backed out of the driveway. She tried to figure out what to say while driving through the neighborhood.

"So, you have no plans on what to do, or where to go, you have no money, no clothes, no nothing... I mean, do you realize how stupid this is?"

Lara rested her elbow on the car's window sill, and propped her head, not wanting to discuss any further.

Julia continued, "You're going to get in trouble with the police. There's weird people out there. What if you get hurt, what are you going to do?"

"I'll be OK!" Lara insisted.

"It'll get cold, and you have nothing to keep warm with."

"The car has a heater." Lara countered.

Julia paused, still looking for something else to say. Meanwhile, Lara looked out the window and took the last glances of the neighborhood she grew up in.

"I mean what I said about my aunt. She's not going to let you stay." Julia continued.

Lara blew out a sarcastic breath of air. "I know! I'm not expecting to stay with your aunt!"

Julia rolled her eyes.

"Look," Lara spoke as she took her elbow off the window. "I'm going to figure something out. Somewhere along the way I'll find something. I can take care of myself. The worst that could happen is the police will arrest me, let me call my mom, and let me go. It's not like I'm going to die or something!"

Julia felt frustrated. She cared deeply for Lara, but respected her spirit of independence, and was even envious of it. And in fact, Julia would have simply refused to take Lara if not for the fact that Julia had now saw herself as an adult, and felt just a little bit more ready to indulge in Lara's stories of sex and promiscuity.

Ch. 11: Letting Her Mother Know

The alarm clock rang.

Lara opened her eyes and reached for the clock to turn off the alarm.

The clock read 12:15am. Her mother should have returned home by about now from her evening job.
She stepped out of her bedroom and headed towards the kitchen, where her mother usually rested with a drink.

"Oh hi Lara." Her mother greeted.

"Hi mom."

Lara took a seat at the kitchen table, put her elbows on the table, and propped her head.

"Can't sleep tonight?" Her mother asked.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"So how was your day?"

"I didn't do much. I tried calling some nudist resorts, but none of them were hiring."

"Nudist resorts, huh? Going to get a job at one?"

"Hopefully."

"Well you just have to keep trying. Might help to visit a few of them and stay there just to get to know the people."

"Yeah."

Her mother took a drink.

Lara sat up.

"Mom, I'm planning to leave home."

Her mother paused and then nodded her head slightly. "When?"

"Soon. I'm leaving with Julia whenever she figures out when."

"And where's Julia going?"

"Fort Wayne."

Her mother made a face. "Fort Wayne? You mean Indiana? What are you going to do there?"

"I'll find something."

Her mother blew out a breath of disbelief. "You'll find something?"

Lara sat quietly.

"So are there nudist resorts in Fort Wayne?"

"No. I'm thinking of finding one in California or maybe Arizona. Julia's just going to take me as far as Fort Wayne. But, I'll probably get a job there and then figure out how to get to California."

"Well, I'm sure California will welcome your naked little butt there." Her mother said grinning.

Lara made a little smile.

"Do you need some money?" Her mother asked.

"No. I want to do this completely on my own."

Her mother laughed.

"I'll be fine."

Her mother took a drink, swished it around in her mouth, and set the glass on the table.

"Now tell me you're not going to be a stripper."

Lara rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Mom!"

Her mother made a serious look, while Lara stared back with a serious look of her own.

"I'm sorry. That was a dumb question." Her mother said. "I guess you can't be a stripper if you're already naked."

Lara smiled.

Her mother took another drink.

"So let me guess, you're planning to go to Fort Wayne naked right?"

Lara nodded her head.

"Of course!" Her mother replied, shaking her head. "No, Lara. I mean, OK, you can go to Fort Wayne, and yes you're eighteen now. But realize that you're head is not painting an accurate picture of reality.  You can't just go all the way to Fort Wayne naked and no money!"

Lara didn't answer. She turned her eyes down and tilted her head to one side, expecting the same arguments from her mother and the same tired advice.

"You'll get in trouble!" Her mother continued. "Do you realize how many men out there will pursue you? They will never leave you alone! They will follow you! Keep a coat with you, or an over-sized t-shirt or something you can put on."

"Mom, I'm not taking any clothes with me! I'm serious about this!"

Her mother sighed and threw her hands up in the air.

"You can still have clothes and be a nudist!"

Lara rolled her eyes again.

"Really mom?" Lara asked sarcastically. "I mean listen to what you're saying!" 

"Lara? Are you insane? All nudists still have clothing. Even if they're full time nudists, they still don't travel across the world without taking something with them. And certainly with some money too!"

"I don't care. I'm going to do it anyway."

Her mother laughed. "Well you certainly will take some clothes with you. And you will take some money too."

"I threw away all my clothes yesterday. I don't have any."

"What? You are kidding me!"

"I'm not kidding."

Her mother got up out of her chair and walked to Lara's bedroom. Minutes later she her mother yelled out, "Lara!!"

Lara walked to her bedroom to find her chest of drawers pulled out, and her mother standing in front of her closet.

"What the Hell did you do with your dresses?"

"I told you I threw them away!"

Her mother put her hands on her hips and turned to look at Lara in amazement, while Lara simply looked back at her emotionless.

"The dress your grandmother bought you? The wool overcoat I bought you? You did not throw those away!"

"I threw them away."

Her mother walked briskly towards Lara and held out her hand, cocking it back to slap her daughter's face, like she had done so many times before. But Lara had braced herself, ready to take a hit. She stared her mother down in defiance, waiting to be slapped. Her mother paused, still holding her hand out, ready to swing.

Reality finally sunk into her mother's conscience. Her daughter's obsession with nudity was not just a childhood thing, but something that Lara would pursue seriously as an adult.

Her mother put her hand down. Lara continued to stare straight into her mother's eyes.

"OK, let me get this straight." Her mother started. "You're leaving for Fort Wayne buck naked and no clothes, and you have no money and no job? Am I missing something here?

Lara shook her head. "No, mom."

Her mother raised her voice. "How are you going to feed yourself? Where are you going to stay? How are you going to stay warm? How are you going to shower, brush your teeth, take care of your period? How are you going to defend yourself? What if you get sick? You know that when word gets out there's a naked eighteen year old girl wandering around, people are going to hunt you down. Do you realize how stupid this is?"

Lara's eyes were starting to well up. She walked to her bed and laid down.

Her mother stood there staring at Lara for several seconds.

Festering in the recesses of her memory, she recalled her own youth when she left home with a rebellious, carefree lifestyle and feeling every much as frustrated as Lara. She tried to draw upon that time to find some piece of useful advice to offer.

She sat down on the bed, and put her hand on Lara's shoulder.

"Lara?" she spoke in a more calmed tone.

"Look, let Julia drive to Fort Wayne on her own. I'll help you find a nudist resort you can work at. You can stay here in the meantime, or I can help you find a place of your own, and you can be as nude as you want. OK?"

Lara sniffled, and paused for a moment.

"No, mom. I don't want to be in Charleston anymore. I want to go to California."

Lara's mother started to cry.

"But sweetie, I'm so worried about you. I don't want anything to happen you!"

Lara wanted to answer, but chose to hold back. Her mind was filled with thoughts of how her mother was rarely there for her throughout much of her childhood. Even in times when Lara needed her mother the most, she was rarely around. How hypocritical it was for her mother to say that she's so worried about her, she thought.

"I'll be fine Mom. If I can call you, I'll call you."

Her mother sunk her head down in her hands. Reality was setting in that her baby was leaving, and doing so in an extraordinary way.

Lara had already reached for her clitoris and began soothing herself, calling for the six-year old girl to help her escape from the overwhelming effort it took to confront her mother.

"Baby..." Her mother spoke. "Please call me. OK? Just call me?"

There was no answer from Lara. Her mother turned to look at her and noticed that she was already withdrawing into her little girl. She reached for her daughter's foot as she had done so many times, and rubbed it.

Lara shifted to her side, still with her hand inside, and began to cry uncontrollably. The trauma of confrontation was far more than the little girl could handle.

Before breaking down herself, Lara's mother stood up and walked out of the room.

Ch. 10: Planning Her Escape

"Hello?"

"Lara? Hi! It's Julia."

"Oh hi!"

"I saw that you called me today."

"Yeah, I don't know, I was just feeling frustrated about finding a job."

"Where'd you go?"

"Nowhere, I started calling some nudist resorts. None of them are hiring."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

"I'm sure you'll find one somewhere."

"There was one in Arizona that said they were building new rooms and a restaurant and might have an opening next Spring."

"Well that's something!"

"I suppose so. I don't know. That's so far away."

"You should go online, there's all kinds of groups and clubs. I bet you can find one for nudists and they might know places with job openings."

"Yeah, maybe. Hey, so have you decided on when you're going to leave for Fort Wayne?"

"Well, I guess I can leave now if I wanted. My aunt says she's ready to let me stay until I can move into a dorm."

"So are you leaving now, or what?"

"I don't know, probably soon though."

"Well, do you think I can tag along with you?"

"To Fort Wayne?"

"I don't know, either Fort Wayne, or somewhere else along the way."

"Well, yeah, but as long as my parents don't know about it. My Dad already has route my planned! But what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I'm just sick of staying here. I need to get out and find something."

"Well remember, it's a small car, and it's already going to be filled with my stuff."

"That's OK, I'll be leaving most of my things at home."

"Are you sure about this Lara?  You really want to go to Fort Wayne?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, OK then.  But you can't stay at my aunt's. I mean, she's not going to let you stay there."

"I know, I'll figure something out."

"Hey, maybe we can spend some extra days seeing stuff. Play tourist and all!"

"Yeah, sure!"

"Well then, I guess I need to figure out what day to leave, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Does your mom know you're leaving?"

"No, I'll tell her about it tonight though."

"Well, I guess I'll let you know when I get everything figured out. Should probably be soon though."

"Sounds great!"

"Well, I probably should take my shower and get ready for bed. I'll talk to you later, OK?"

"OK, bye!"

"Bye!"

Lara hung up the phone with a sense of fear. She had just pushed herself off into the deep end without really knowing if she can swim. However, this was "real Lara" without doubt, preferring to hold nothing back and figure out the details later.

There was a destiny she could feel, as if it were outside waiting for her and she had to do go out there and get it. She recognized she had become the lame horse trying to get out of the starting gate. She was determined to correct that, and once she was determined, she focused only the goal.

"Don't think about who's watching or what's around you, only think about me."

Lara felt good about throwing away all her clothes. That was her first bold step. Now she took the next step by telling Julia she was going to leave home with her. All she needed to do next, was tell her mom.

Ch. 9: Looking For a Job, Remembering Teresa

Lara entered her mother's bedroom to use her laptop. She wanted to look up nudist resorts to see if any had job openings.

A search found many listings of resorts, but none of them posted their job openings. Very few existed in her area of Charleston, South Carolina. But there were several in Florida, and even several more in California.

California intrigued her. She had heard that California was a place where people could live as they pleased, quite unlike the more conservative, traditional state as South Carolina. Getting to California would present a big hurdle to overcome, especially if she planned to do it fully nude.

She still had no plans on how she was going to get to a nudist resort without having a car. Being nude, she couldn't actually take the bus or ride a bicycle, or even walk. The more she thought about it, the more problems she encountered. She wondered if throwing out all her clothes was a good idea, at least at this point.

Before turning off the computer, she managed to write down phone numbers of several nudist resorts around the country.

She walked back into her bedroom, and began calling up resorts on her cellphone.

A woman answered.

"Uh, Hello, is this Sun County Resorts?" Lara asked.

"Yes?"

"I'm looking for a job, and wondered if there were any openings there?"

"Sorry, not at this moment."

"Oh. OK, thanks".

  She tried another number, a resort in Arizona. A man answered.

"Hi, my named is Lara, and I'm looking for work and wanted to know if there are any job openings there?"

"Not right now, but you might want to check back next Spring, we're building a new restaurant and adding more rooms."

"Oh, OK, thanks."

"Sure, no problem."

Lara hung up.

She called several more numbers, but every one she called all gave her the same answer. There were no job openings. It seemed very disappointing, but she knew that nudist resorts did employ people and that it would only be a matter of time when they would need to hire someone. She still held on to hope.

Lara took a deep breath and exhaled, then propped her head with her hand and thought more about her future.

At this point in her life, every day she remained at home was another day she failed to begin her life as an adult.

Lara thought about Julia leaving for Fort Wayne soon. Her only friend would be gone any day now. She wondered if she could hitch a ride with Julia, at least to some nudist resort somewhere. But she'd be hundreds of miles from home, with no money, no place to stay, and no clothes either.

Nonetheless, she felt like time was wasting. She needed a plan.

She picked up the phone and dialed Julia's cell phone.

Several rings went by, until it finally went into voice mail. Lara hung up without leaving a message.

Frustrated, she laid down on her bed.

She thought about Teresa.

Somehow the one memory that stood out the most was when they both graduated sixth grade and spent summer vacation together. It was an evening, and they were at Teresa's house.

* * *

Teresa's mother spent several years of abuse at the hands of her former husband. She held on to her marriage because she wasn't working and relied on his income to take care of Teresa and herself. After the divorce, she saw to it that her daughter would never be subservient to a man. She pushed Teresa to excel in both academics and athletics. And because Teresa was taller and more physical than most girls her age, she radiated an aura of confidence and assertion that all kids respected.

She didn't want Teresa to feel as if she needed men, or worse, tolerate the abuse of a man. She didn't necessarily want Teresa to be a lesbian or bisexual, she wanted Teresa to make that decision. She just wanted Teresa to be in total control of her sexuality, and not fall prey to her own desires.

Teresa had already discovered masturbation well before she and Lara became friends. And with Teresa's mother being a nudist, and having encouraged Teresa to be a nudist as well, she wasn't at all shy about touching herself openly. Her mother was torn between wanting Teresa to keep her auto-erotica confined to the bedroom, and with wanting to encourage Teresa to be sexually liberated and free. She tried to insist that Teresa show some restraint and politeness, but there were also times when she just let it go.

* * *

But what Lara remembered the most was when the two were seated on the couch watching a movie inside Teresa's house. Teresa's mother relaxed in her recliner nearby. Both Teresa and Lara had a blanket over them, but were fully nude underneath. Teresa's mom was nude also.

The cover of a blanket was all that Teresa needed to explore her sexuality in the early part of their relationship. Lara did the best she could to contain herself while allowing Teresa to explore and experiment.

Teresa's mother would reach for the handle on her recliner to sit herself back up. Just as quickly, Teresa would pull her hand away from Lara. Both tried to look as if nothing were happening. But Teresa's mother was not naive. She knew what was going on.

She chose to let it go, however. Teresa's mother welcomed her daughter's exploration into sexuality, hoping she would learn to be proud of it and be in full control of it. But she had little concern for Lara. As far as she was concerned, if Lara's mother didn't care, then she didn't care either.

However in the months and years following, she would warn Teresa against touching herself and Lara in public. But Teresa loved what amount of control she already held over Lara. Teresa would become more determined, more confident, and would develop an acute appetite for both control and sex.

Ch. 8: Throwing Away Her Clothes

Lara awoke next morning to the sound of a garbage truck clanging across the street as its robotic arms poured containers of trash into its belly.

She looked up at her clock. 8:22 AM.

Lara stared at her ceiling trying to recall what she dreamed about. She could hear the back door shutting and then through her bedroom window saw her younger brother dragging a garbage container out to the sidewalk.

Lara felt safe in her bedroom.

Her stereo, her chest of drawers, her clock, her desk, a bookshelf, a few stuffed animals, were things she had since her younger years. Within them were ingrained the imprints of Lara's essence and spirit, her scent, her fingerprints, and DNA were all over them. They were a part of her biography and an extension of herself.

But after living the last six years nude at home, she wondered about her clothes.

If she was to live and work at a nudist resort, why would she ever need them?

She thought about it for a couple more minutes.

Lara got up out of bed and opened her chest of drawers. There were several pairs of panties and socks, including dozens of tops, t-shirts, pants, and shorts.  In her closet were several coats and dresses, some of which were handed down to her by her mother and grandmother.

She reasoned that people who don't smoke don't own ash trays, people who don't drink don't keep bottles of liquor. So why should a nudist own clothes?

She could hear the garbage truck moving further down the other side of the street.

The "real Lara" was daring, and this was a daring conclusion. The ends justifying the means very much defined this recent high school grad, and if she was going to dedicate herself to a life of nudity, then why not start now? Why be afraid? Why not jump right into the deep end right now?

That old lingering phrase Teresa burned into her brain continued to ring out...

"Don't think about who's watching or what's around you, only think about me."

Somehow that stuck with her and translated itself in a variety of ways, even with "real Lara".

Lara walked out of her bedroom and into the kitchen to grab a few trash bags, then carried them back into her bedroom.  Drawer by drawer, she began filling up the bags quickly before the garbage truck arrived at her house.

Next up, the closet.

There hung some beautiful dresses that seemed too much of a shame to toss into a trash bag. She felt the ones her grandmother gave her, and noticed another dress she wore to her grandfather's funeral. Lara was conflicted. Maybe she could just leave them here?

But she wanted to be a nudist.  And to be one, in her mind, meant never to compromise.

These dresses were only pieces of cloth and contained nothing of her essence and spirit. They weren't a part of her naive, little girl. One by one, she pulled down every dress, jacket and coat and put them all into the bags.

She dragged them out of her bedroom and through a hallway towards the backdoor. Then she dragged them across the driveway and out to the sidewalk and left them next to the garbage container.

A neighbor was walking her dog across the street and noticed Lara fully nude and stared at her with a strange face.

Lara walked to her front porch and sat on the steps and waited for the garbage truck to circle around and return down her side of the street.  She entertained the thought of retrieving her clothes. But she couldn't find any reason to take them back.

"Hey, freak!" a couple of younger boys yelled out as they rode by on their bicycles.

And then moments after that, a next door neighbor pulled their car out of the driveway and started down the road, shaking his head after seeing her nude on the porch.

The sounds of people yelling at her, staring at her, began to conjure up feelings of anxiety. She stood up from the porch and opened the front door to the house, stepping into doorway. The house still provided her with a sense of protection. But she stopped to turn around and watch for the garbage truck.

The garbage truck was only half way down the block.

Thoughts of retrieving the bags of clothes once again crept into her mind.  But the on-going depressive state of her eighteen-year old personality warped her sense of reality. The fact that she never developed personal boundaries didn't help either. But now, she was determined to become a full time nudist.

The garbage truck crept closer, one house after another.

Lara reasoned she could at least save the dresses her grandmother gave her. It was probably the only thing she had left from her. But Lara paid no attention to sentimental value, and focused only her goal.

Lara stood up on her feet as the truck arrived at her house and immediately picked up the trash container and emptied it. Then the driver stepped out of the truck and picked up the garbage bags of her clothes. Lara felt a rush of adrenaline come over her. She stepped through the doorway and back on to the porch. The driver looked at Lara and smiled, and then tossed the bags of clothes into the truck, and drove to the next house.

Lara watched for another moment, and then returned back into the house.

Her younger brother was seated on the couch.

"Lara, were you outside naked again?" He asked.

Lara continued into the kitchen.

"Mom's going to get mad at you!" He shouted.

"Shut up! She answered.

Lara felt elated, as if she had taken her first step.

Ch. 7: A Talk With Mom

"Where are your clothes?" Lara's mother inquired with a concerned look, after seeing her daughter enter through the front door of the house.

Lara paused and thought for a moment, trying quickly to find an answer. "Oh, I... didn't need them anymore."

"You didn't need them anymore?" Her mother answered, looking disappointed.

"Yeah." Lara said slowly, and then tried to continue towards her bedroom.

"Wait a minute!" Her mother said. "Don't tell me you've been out there with no clothes!"

Lara turned around to look at her mother. "I just didn't want to wear them, OK?" And she continued walking.

Her mother rolled her eyes and let out a sigh.

Lara laid down on her bed thinking about what Julia recommended, about finding a job at a nudist resort. She wondered what she could do, like be an activities leader, or a housekeeper, or a front desk clerk. It didn't seem to matter to her, as long as she could find a place to sustain herself and live nude for as long as she could.

She got up out of her bed and walked into the bathroom. She plugged the sink and ran it with warm water, then sat on the counter top and rested her feet on the toilet seat cover. She got out some shaving cream, spread it over her crotch, and grabbed her razor. She made a practice of shaving herself smooth every couple of days.

Someone knocked on the bedroom door. "Lara?" Her mother's voice asked out.

Her mother opened the door and walked in, and stood by the bathroom entrance.

"Uh..." Her mother was startled, and then regained herself.

"Yes?" Lara asked, rolling her eyes.

"You know when I was your age, us girls wanted to grow our hair. Now everyone wants to get rid of it!"

Lara swashed the razor in the sink, and kept her focus on shaving.

"You know I told you not to go nude in public!"

"So what if I did?" Lara answered.

"Lara!" Her mother answered with disbelief. "You just can't go doing that, you know that."

"I'm 18 now, I can do whatever I want!"

"Not if you plan to stay in this house!" Her mother challenged.

"Well, I can change that!" Lara countered quickly.

Her mother paused, took in a few breaths, and then folded her arms before continuing.

"OK.  You're going to get arrested if you keep doing that. It's not good for your reputation."

"I already have a reputation. What does it matter?"

Her mother looked up and tried to find a different strategy, then lowered her voice and resumed talking in a more considerate tone.

"Well, where did you two go?"

"Bentley Park."

"Did anyone see you?"

"There wasn't anybody there." Lara remarked.

Grabbing a towel, Lara began wiping herself off, and then checked herself carefully to make sure she got everything. She reached over at the shelf to fetch a pair of tweezers and began plucking out some finer hairs that got missed.

"Look, I just want you to be safe, that's all." Her mother expressed tenderly.

"Yeah, I know, Mom. I will." Lara reassured.

"You're going to get arrested if you don't stop!"

"Mom! I promise! I'll be careful."

She put away the tweezers, hopped down and unplugged the sink, proceeding to her bedroom.  There, she laid down on her bed, feeling the smoothness of her newly shaven pubis and labia.

Her mother slowly followed in, feeling like she needed to say something to reign her daughter under control. She felt guilty for not doing a better job of raising Lara during her more formative years and struggled to make up for lost time.

But what haunted her more than anything were some words Lara had told her a few years ago when she forcibly separated her from Teresa...

"She's my friend because you wouldn't love me!"

And ever since, she tried to make it up to Lara. But by this time, Lara's brain had already been wired.

"Well, I guess now that you're out of high school you can spend more time in the buff." She smirked.

Lara smiled.

"Just be careful about other people around, OK?" her mother pleaded.

"I will Mom."

Her mother sat down at the foot of the bed, and gently rubbed Lara's foot.  Lara had already moved on from feeling the smoothness of her genitalia to stroking her clitoris, closing her eyes and retreating back into her naive little girl.

"Lara?" Her mother whispered.

Lara didn't answer. She was in the process of retreating back into her little girl alter.

Her mother realized there wouldn't be an answer from her eighteen-year old daughter. If she wanted to have a conversation, it would soon have to be with the six-year old Lara.

In the weeks after she and Teresa's mother forcibly separated their daughters from each other, she noticed Lara sinking into depression. Lara would touch herself outside of the bedroom, in front of her and her brothers. There were times when it became so bad she would go outside stark naked and walk down the sidewalk in broad daylight.

Her mother had taken Lara to a therapist, and continued meetings weekly for over a year. The therapist explained that Lara's masturbation was actually a defense mechanism she used to dissociate from the real world, taking her back to a safer place in her youth. The therapist surmised that her need for nurturing and love drove her to find someone like Teresa, whose mature, protective characteristics brought out a submissive, naive little child.

What the two didn't know was that there was a profound connection between six-year old Lara and her first grade teacher Miss Stanton. Lara looked at her teacher as her mother figure. In her twisted blend of memory and fantasy, Miss Stanton was there, inside her soul, holding the little girl's hand. Even after Lara graduated first grade, she continued to visit Miss Stanton after class, and did so all the way through the end of elementary school.

Touching herself was Lara's way to conjure up that safe place in her youth and find refuge from the pressures of adulthood.

Ch. 6: The Future Comes Into Focus

Lara led Julia out of the bushes and walked slowly down a path that headed into a thick grove of trees.

"So when are you leaving for Fort Wayne?" She asked.

"Anytime I want I suppose." Julia answered. "I just need to get there about a month in advance to meet my aunt, and get checked into the dorm."

"How long do you think it'll take you to drive there?"

"Probably just a day or two if I drive all day long. But it depends if I decide to stop to see some places."

"Like where?" Lara asked.

"I dunno. I hear the Smoky Mountains are pretty!"

The two continued walking through the grove. Bits of sunlight managed to make their way through the tree canopy and speckled the ground. Lara stopped for a moment to catch the sounds of birds singing.

"Listen." Lara whispered. "Aren't they beautiful?"

"You mean the birds?"

"Yeah."

Lara paused for a moment to close her eyes.

"It brings back memories of the nudist camp. I used to just sit on some boulders and listen to them." She said.

Julia leaned up against a tree and admired Lara in her nakedness, enjoying the air on her skin and the music of birds. Lara began turning around in circles, moving shifting foot after foot. She stretched her arms up high, tilted her head and smiled.

"I wish I could find a place like this to live!" She swore. Then she trotted down the path and into the woods like a nymph.

Julia remained leaning up against the tree but kept her watch on Lara as her body moved further and further away.

Julia finally realized Lara was not coming back. "Lara!" Julia yelled out.

Julia stood herself back up and started walking in the direction that Lara went. "Lara?" She called out again, as she caught sight of her reappearing and disappearing behind the trees.

Lara eventually came to a stop, and put her hand on a tree and looked ahead. She had reached the park boundary, and found an avenue with traffic passing by. Lara remained just inside the trees, staring at civilization rushing by. Julia finally caught up, and Lara glanced at her and then looked back at the traffic.

"You can't go any further." Julia remarked.

"I could if I wanted to." Lara responded quietly.

Julia's facial expression turned to that of concern.

"You can't, Lara. You'll get into a lot of trouble."

Lara wanted to walk out of the park and down the avenue sidewalk, in full nudity, feeling glorious and liberated. She slowly took steps forward, just beyond the trees, but went no further.

"Lara! You can't go out there!"

Memories of summers spent at the nudist camp with Teresa occupied Lara's mind, reminding her of the feeling of freedom and being at one with Nature.

Lara turned around and returned to Julia.

"Hey." She said. "Maybe I can find a forest to live in somewhere, with a cabin and a garden!"

"Like where?" Julia asked.

"I don't know. Like the mountains!" Lara responded.

"It's dangerous out there. There's all kinds of weird people." Julia said.  "Why don't you come back over to me before some car sees you!"

The two girls headed back into the grove, through the dense growth of oaks and buses, and eventually to the parking lot.

"What about that nudist resort?" Julia asked. "I mean they have employees working right?"

"Well, yeah."

"Couldn't you just work there and live there?"

"Oh yeah..." Lara thought out loud. "That's a good idea!"

"Yeah, then you could be naked forever, and actually earn a living at it!"

The wheels were spinning in Lara's head.