Lara awoke to find herself alone in the barn. After blinking several times and wiping the crust from her eyes, she called for Nan.
"Nan?"
There was no answer.
She laid down on her back and looked up at the roof of the barn. There were several supporting crossbeams, and somehow she fixed on one of them and kept her look as she wondered if her life would be an endless string of similar events.
On the one hand, she understood the sight of a thin eighteen year old naked girl would bring about thoughts of lust in others. But on the other hand, she understood there was a darker side to her that could be brought about under the right circumstances and from the right people, and to which she couldn't resist.
She still could not get Teresa out of her mind. That tall, stocky girl, athletically built for sports, and with a mind sharpened by a feminist mother, remained fixed in her head like a ghost haunting her neural pathways.
The 7th grade, their first year of middle school, had been a defining moment. What started out as two friends having innocent fun through intimacy, became a relationship in which Teresa developed a taste for control. Teresa had matured far more psychologically and intellectually than most girls her age, thanks in part to the encouragement and nurturing from her mother.
Teresa was not just taller than most girls, but much more physical. She won a great deal of respect from other girls, even from many boys, and it contributed to her sense of dominance.
But Teresa found it difficult to make friends. Her rapid maturity both mentally and physically as well as her aggressiveness, made her something of an anomaly. Both girls and boys made fun of her, and she was excluded from other circles.
Likewise with Lara, who often found herself alone with an inward focus, Teresa spent a lot of time alone as well. Where Lara was naturally introverted, Teresa was extroverted. She needed human interaction to keep herself energized and fulfilled. Sports turned out to be a great way for her to contribute and be a part of a circle, and she excelled in it, to the point of making other girls feel jealous of her physical abilities. Nobody wanted to hear anymore about Teresa's home runs, or her volleyball kills. It was always the other girls who were cheered when points were scored. Outside of sports, Teresa was shunned. It frustrated her and eventually created anger.
Lara grew an emotional attachment to Teresa mostly due to her perceived view of her as her protector. She was willing to hand her mind, body, and soul to Teresa and let her do as she pleased, even in public or even in view of others, as long as Teresa kept her one hundred percent safe. She needed to feel wanted, cherished, and protected, which Teresa gave to her.
Teresa found in Lara a friend who accepted her as she was and genuinely liked her. Teresa wasn't a freak or anomaly in Lara's eyes, but someone who was appreciated for her tall stature and stocky build. Moreover, Teresa was welcomed into being the leader of the relationship. Lara never once complained about the high level of control that Teresa wanted. Teresa could practice her ideas with Lara and hone her skills at manipulation and dominance.
Lara thought about the shopping mall. The two were inside a dressing room, where Teresa had picked out some clothes to try on. Teresa had wrapped her arms around Lara, and kissed her deeply for several long seconds. Lara found herself enveloped within Teresa's massive frame, and seemingly locked inside her protective shell. Lara remembered exactly how she felt at that moment. Loved, cherished, and protected.
Teresa never stopped there. She always practiced her skills at manipulation and training at the expense of Lara. Teresa was creative, inventive, and bold, pushing Lara to greater extremes. It was always a test of Lara's resolve to trust Teresa, and Teresa never wavered in her promise to protect her from harm, whether physical or emotional.
Even in her early teens, Lara already realized this was no longer two girls exploring their puberty. This was setting her on a course that would shape her future. But this was still better than what she had at home. At least with Teresa she was wanted, cherished, and protected. She felt none of that from her family. She reasoned it was OK to invest herself in Teresa.
