It's actually part fiction, part autobiography.
It's the story of an 18 year old girl named Lara who decided to travel from South Carolina to California with no clothes, no money, no car, and nothing to her name. It chronicles her adventures as she leaves home nude meets people along the way, touches their lives, and moves on.
But it's really about a girl suffering from PTSD with Dissociative Disorder.
Growing up without a father, she didn't have a male figure who cherished her, protected her, or made her feel beautiful. And because her mother never spent time with her, she didn't have the female figure to nurture her and love her.
As a result, Lara felt an insatiable desire to find someone who could act as her parent-figure, to love her, nurture, and protect her. She would latch on to people who gave this to her, and often times those people would abuse her.
One of those people was Teresa. The two were 12 years old when they became best friends. Teresa was tall, solidly built, and well educated. Her mother demanded her to be tough, aggressive, and take the attitude that her destiny was not as a wife or mother, but as a leader, liberated and fearsome. She offered Lara her friendship, protection and praise in exchange for practicing her thirst for sex and control.
As a result, Lara developed a reputation in school as being slutty, forcing her to become more dependent on Teresa for friendship and protection. Once their parents forcibly separated the two, Lara fell into a depression, unable to deal with the public scrutiny she was now left to face alone.
The trauma associated with being alone, unwanted, and disrespected was too great to handle for a girl who never felt a strong parental foundation. When the pressure of reality became too great, she dissociated by reopening her memories of Teresa and other protective-figures who made her feel safe. Lara regressed into an innocent, sweet, 6-year old girl, who fancied herself the object of desire of other emotionally secure people.
Now disillusioned with life after high school, and uninterested in becoming productive member of society, Lara leaves home, nude, with no money, no car, and no possessions, seeking a place where she can live as her little 6-year old girl, safe from the dangers of society.
Characters
Teresa - Lara's best friend and lover through middle school. Teresa was the only child of a single mother. Tall, athletic, intelligent, she expressed a dominant presence and could command respect in a crowd. Her mother was a nudist and taught Teresa to be proud of her body. With a strong sense of liberation and independence, she matured far more quickly for her age, and developed her sexuality by taking advantage of Lara's need for love and nuturing.
Part Autobiographical
The story itself is fiction, but the characters are based on real people.
Lara Wellen - of course is named after myself. In the story, she has the same upbringing that I had, the same family situation. I had no father in my life and my mother had all but abandoned me. I was never able to connect with my mother emotionally. Our relationship was simply her providing the basic necessities of a house, food, clothing, and medical attention when I needed it. My oldest brother was mom's favorite, at least he got all of her love and nurturing. My next oldest brother did not. He and I were in the same boat.
"Julia" and I became best friends in kindergarten, and we did grow up together on the same block. We were inseparable through elementary school. When we went to middle school, she became interested in pop culture and found new friends that also pursued pop culture. Without a friend, I eventually discovered "Teresa". Up until then, I was still a girl interested in boys and once dreamed of becoming a wife and mother. "Teresa" changed all that. I don't regret my interest in women, I feel very comfortable with it now. But the process that changed into the woman that I am today was tumultuous, perhaps torturous is a better word.
I also became a nudist at the age of 12, just like the Lara in the story. In the story, I created the explanation that Lara was introduced to naturism by "Teresa" and "Teresa's" mother. In reality, it was just something I discovered for very difficult reasons to explain. Once Teresa began abusing me, I found it difficult to tell my mother what was happening. For one, she and I never connected emotionally; I just could not bring myself to tell her about my intimate and private life. But I also didn't know how to explain in words what was happening. I also afraid to say anything out of fear that "Teresa" would hurt me, or even worse, leave me. Somehow, being nude in the house, in front of my mother and brothers, became my way of telling them that something was wrong. I had already seen my brothers nude before, and they had already seen me too. It wasn't too difficult for me to be seen naked in front of my family. That was the best I could do.
Julia Conway - Not her name in real life of course, but based on a real person. She was in fact my best friend going back to kindergarten. She had devout Christian parents who raised her to be a devout Christian girl. She got excellent grades in school and was loyal to her parents. In return, her parents were loyal to her. They remained entrenched in her life and molded her carefully into the Christian woman her mother was, but with a focus on the current world of feminism. She had auburn hair, was tall, slender, moderately breasted, and very beautiful. She looked very much like the photo (though that's not her).
During the high school years, after "Teresa" and I were forcibly separated, "Julia" did in fact visit me at home numerous times. She was still concerned for me, noticing that I had become depressed, developed a reputation as a lesbian slut, and was getting into all sorts of trouble. I had finally told her in secret what had been happening. She was shocked and even blamed herself for staying my close friend during middle school. It's also true that when she visited me at home, I was always nude with her. We never lovers however. She was just a dear friend who genuinely wanted to help me heal. In real life, she never went to college. During high school, she earned some money at her church helping in the office. She met her future husband there.
Teresa Dowd - Also not her real name, but based on a real person. Unlike in the story, "Teresa" had been sexually abused by her father. The abuse started when she was 8 years old and continued until she was 11. At that time, her mother finally discovered what was going on and notified the police. He was arrested and ultimately sentenced to prison. But instead of withdrawing inside herself, she did the opposite. She became more aggressive, developed a sexual appetite, and wanted to find someone to abuse. Meanwhile, her mother tried desperately to get her psychological help. She tried to shift the focus into academics, sports, arts, and reinforce the idea that no man is allowed to abuse her. She became very successful in academics and sports, but I believe used me as her canvass for arts.
"Teresa" grew very tall very quickly. She was muscular with long, strong legs and a big upper body. By the time she graduated high school, she was over six feet tall. She found in me someone she could sexually abuse as well. She needed some way to relieve the hurt she received from her father, and did by abusing someone else. Between the ages of 12 and 14, "Teresa" had come up countless ways to sexually abuse me, each time becoming more creative and more daring. She loved to hear me whine and cry, she loved knowing that she could touch me, poke me, pinch me, in all the various ways to exact specific responses. She more addicted to control, but sex was her specific outlet.
Other Characters
Nan - Nan was the woman I did not want to become. I did not want to live with my mom forever. I desperately wanted to leave home and find a way to support myself. In the story, Nan was a secret lesbian who found herself trapped in her parent's home, unable to express her sexuality, and unable to have any friends. She looked old, unattractive, and overweight.
Lucy - The mother I always wanted. I wanted her to cherish me, bond with me, love me, and spend lots of time with me. But more than that, I've always wanted a mother with whom I could share the intimate part of myself. I never wanted a mother who I could engage with sexually, but I wanted a mother who would wash my body, let me lay with her, and make me feel like her little girl.
Charles - The man I dreamed of marrying when I was a little girl. Charles was sweet, caring, protective, and built strong. In the story, Charles was an outdoorsman who loved to travel, hunt, and climb mountains. But the truth is that when I was a little girl, the man I dreamed of marrying someday was just a simple guy who wanted nothing more than to be with his wife, build a home, and start a family.
