Six years earlier, deep inside the fiction section of a branch library in Charleston, Teresa held Lara against a book shelf. The two friends had bonded quickly and tightly together in just two months. The highly dominant Teresa had already begun training the easily submissive Lara. The two were like fire and gasoline, deeply attracted to one another, but a devastation in the making.
Lara panted in both despair and fear as the towering Teresa leaned in and took charge.
"Don't look at anyone else but me! You got it?"
"Yes Master."
"You have to stay next to me at all times! You got that?"
"Yes Master."
"If anybody says something to you, you ignore them!"
"Yes Master."
"Who is the boss here?"
"You Master!" Lara whined and whimpered.
"Who protects you?"
"You Master!"
"Who loves you?"
"You Master!"
"Good!" Teresa smiled, backing off.
Teresa hugged her close, putting one hand on the back of her head, and whispered, "I love you Lara. I won't let anyone hurt you. You have to trust me, Okay?"
"Yes Master."
Such was the standard dialog between the two. It became so much so that it became a significant branch through Lara's neural pathways, causing seek out the shelter of someone larger and stronger to latch on to.
Over the course of the next four years, Teresa would re-establish this over and over by testing Lara's resolve to place all faith into Teresa's tall, strong build, intelligent mind, and fearless feminism to protect her. Lara was trained to stop doubting Teresa and do whatever she asked without hesitation, even in the most public and most humiliating of circumstances. In return, Teresa praised her, cherished her, and protected her.
Teresa was tall, reaching six feet even when she entered high school. Physically she was built like a tank, muscular with strong thighs and calves. She started soccer at age five, and by seven she was in girls softball and taking Tae Kwon Do lessons. By the time she entered high school, she was a center in girls basketball.
Lara, by comparison, was slender and short. When she entered high school, she stood 5'1", almost a full foot shorter than Teresa, and about 130 pounds lighter. She never participated in sports, choosing to read books in her bedroom.
Teresa's infatuation with control grew at the hands of her mother. Her mother was domineering and devoted her entire motherhood on Teresa's day to day life. Teresa was given strict orders on how to do chores, how to prepare meals, and how to interact with others. Her time at home was carefully managed to optimize homework, practice sports, and watch television news with her mother. The fact that Teresa had no control over her own life, encouraged her to seek control of someone else.
"Ooh, look at this!" Teresa swooned, holding up a white, thigh-length dress made of sheer material at a clothing boutique.
Lara raised her eyes, expressing a feeling of uncertainty.
Teresa laughed.
"This will look so hot on you!"
Lara was a toy for Teresa's amusement.
Teresa loved to push the limits of acceptable behavior by putting Lara in a variety of compromising situations. She used her as bait to lure people into a confrontation and then challenge them with her physical size, aggressiveness, and intellect. And when others did, Teresa was always more than equal to the task, relying on all her skills to out-speak and out-muscle anyone who tried. Once Teresa emerged the victor, she felt the sense of elation and enjoyed the respect she got from others.
"Yeah... You're definitely going to the mall in this!" Teresa said excitingly.
Lara felt anxious about being paraded publicly in such conspicuous attire.
"That? Really?" She expressed with fear and trepidation.
"Remember what I said? Don't pay attention to anyone. You just stay by me." Teresa would often say.
"Yes, Master." Lara whispered.
As long as Lara felt confident that Teresa could protect her, she submitted to whatever Teresa demanded. The public spectacle also caused Lara to clutch on to Teresa, making her feel ever so dependent. Teresa enjoyed being a thorn in the public's side, knowing no one could stop her.
Teresa fed Lara the praise she needed and the love she craved, though did not have the maternal qualities that she needed to feel fulfilled. But what Teresa did have to offer was a layer of sexuality that appealed to Lara's hormonal changes. Lara had become trained to associate sex with love, praise, and protection.
Meanwhile, Lara earned a reputation as a lesbian whore."It's just words." Teresa often remarked to Lara. "As long as you stay with me no one will bother you."
And no one ever did. But it didn't ease Lara's mind. It only made her more dependent on Teresa. And Lara had already realized Teresa was right. It was just people talking, whispering, and giggling. Lara had learned to turn a blind eye to it as long as Teresa was there to latch on to.
It was an event in a movie theater that ultimately cost the two girls their friendship. Teresa had pushed their public spectacle to such great limits that it ultimately lead to their breakup.
"What a sweetheart!" Teresa whispered, while Lara couched down in front of her seat.
Teresa's attention was broken when she heard a girl's voice several rows and seats away. "Oh my god!"
Immediately, Teresa sat up. Lara moved out and got back into her seat as well.
In the days following, rumors spread around school that Lara and Teresa were caught in the middle of a movie theater. The grape vine twisted the story in varying degrees, some stating that the two girls were arrested by police, while others described them as having sex with boys in the theater.
The school principal called Lara's mother, and put into a motion a chain of events that led to Teresa being forcibly transferred to a different high school. Both mothers were required to keep their respective daughters from seeing each other. Teresa's mother, however, defended her daughter, going so far as to take some pride in how aggressive and dominant she had become. Lara's mother scolded her daughter and described her as "slutty".
The breakup devastated Lara. She was now left to fend for herself at school. Teresa would not be there to latch on to. Boys and girls joked about her, pointed her out, and whispered and giggled when they saw her. Even when their smiles and laughs were not directed at her, she still assumed it was, and it drove her crazy. Voices in her head began to form, telling her that people were plotting against her and that they all hated her. Her warped sense of reality and her heightened anxieties caused her to misinterpret words and actions to such an exaggerated degree, she threw fits of anger, yelled at students in classes, and broke down crying in front of everyone.
The school principal had suggested to her mother that Lara be moved to a specialized school for students with mental illness. However, her mother insisted that not happen because it was much further away from home and would create a burden on her drive Lara to school and back. Lara was forced endure psychological trauma until her graduation.
Once she made it home from school, she hid in her room and used masturbation as a way to calm her anxiety, conjuring up memories of her favorite maternal figure, her first grade teacher Miss Stanton.
* * *
"I'm so sorry that happened to you Lara." Julia expressed.
Lara kept her hands to her face, trying to contain the emotions. She nodded her head in response as the two sat on Lara's bed.
Julia and Lara renewed their friendship after the breakup.
Even though two had been friends since kindergarten, they had drifted apart by the tail end of the sixth grade. Julia sought to pursue pop culture, indulging in the latest music, wearing the newest fashions, and flirting with boys. Meanwhile, Lara had continued on as introverted, wearing simple clothing, and reading books. Julia made friends with girls in popular cliques, while Lara met Teresa.
But by the beginning of high school, Julia found herself unable to keep up with popular trends and the demands of her cliques. She dropped out of circles and focused on her studies instead. It happened to be the right time for her. Lara had just been forcibly separated from Teresa.
The two spent their remaining years of high school as best friends again. After school, they often hung out in Lara's bedroom, doing homework and talking about the usual girl's stuff. However, Lara struggled to find peace within herself, and sometimes mistook Julia's laughter the wrong way.
"I masturbate to calm myself down." Lara finally admitted to Julia one day after school.
Julia giggled. "Oh my God, Lara!"
"What?" Lara responded.
"Uh, nothing!" Julia chuckled.
Without a father in her life, and having a mother that ignored her, Lara never learned about boundaries. It became exacerbated in her relationship with Teresa. Lara often talked about things that most people kept to themselves. She didn't see the embarrassment of masturbation, nor the reason to abstain from it in the company of trusted friends and family.
"Well, I just wanted you to know because you might see me doing it."
Julia opened her eyes wide and grinned in disbelief. "Really?"
"Well, I'm sorry!" Lara answered.
Julia giggled and rolled her eyes.
She didn't mind at all in reality. Julia was in fact highly intrigued. However, her entire upbringing was guided by strict Christian parents. She had been trained to express herself as modest, as if she felt no sexual urges. But in fact, Julia felt jealous of Lara's ability to publicly express her sexuality. Julia found it stimulating, yet she was too afraid to embrace it.
Over the next several semesters, Julia got to witness it all. Lara revealed the warped and abusive relationship she had with Teresa to great detail. Lara preferred to be nude at all times, even while Julia visited, and often touched herself casually, not to orgasm, but just from the habit of calming her anxieties. Julia was never embarrassed to watch, but still felt compelled to express modesty in the way a God-fearing child was expected. But, she understood the psychological scars Lara had bore. Julia was more shocked to confirm the rumors she heard at school, sometimes going so far as to weep for Lara.
And when Lara touched herself, she slowly brought out the six-year old girl. Julia witnessed this alter all too often, and she found herself taking on a big-sister role, offering her an endless supply of friendship and patience.
