"Where are your clothes?" Lara's mother inquired with a concerned look, after seeing her daughter enter through the front door of the house.
Lara paused and thought for a moment, trying quickly to find an answer. "Oh, I... didn't need them anymore."
"You didn't need them anymore?" Her mother answered, looking disappointed.
"Yeah." Lara said slowly, and then tried to continue towards her bedroom.
"Wait a minute!" Her mother said. "Don't tell me you've been out there with no clothes!"
Lara turned around to look at her mother. "I just didn't want to wear them, OK?" And she continued walking.
Her mother rolled her eyes and let out a sigh.
Lara laid down on her bed thinking about what Julia recommended, about finding a job at a nudist resort. She wondered what she could do, like be an activities leader, or a housekeeper, or a front desk clerk. It didn't seem to matter to her, as long as she could find a place to sustain herself and live nude for as long as she could.
She got up out of her bed and walked into the bathroom. She plugged the sink and ran it with warm water, then sat on the counter top and rested her feet on the toilet seat cover. She got out some shaving cream, spread it over her crotch, and grabbed her razor. She made a practice of shaving herself smooth every couple of days.
Someone knocked on the bedroom door. "Lara?" Her mother's voice asked out.
Her mother opened the door and walked in, and stood by the bathroom entrance.
"Uh..." Her mother was startled, and then regained herself.
"Yes?" Lara asked, rolling her eyes.
"You know when I was your age, us girls wanted to grow our hair. Now everyone wants to get rid of it!"
Lara swashed the razor in the sink, and kept her focus on shaving.
"You know I told you not to go nude in public!"
"So what if I did?" Lara answered.
"Lara!" Her mother answered with disbelief. "You just can't go doing that, you know that."
"I'm 18 now, I can do whatever I want!"
"Not if you plan to stay in this house!" Her mother challenged.
"Well, I can change that!" Lara countered quickly.
Her mother paused, took in a few breaths, and then folded her arms before continuing.
"OK. You're going to get arrested if you keep doing that. It's not good for your reputation."
"I already have a reputation. What does it matter?"
Her mother looked up and tried to find a different strategy, then lowered her voice and resumed talking in a more considerate tone.
"Well, where did you two go?"
"Bentley Park."
"Did anyone see you?"
"There wasn't anybody there." Lara remarked.
Grabbing a towel, Lara began wiping herself off, and then checked herself carefully to make sure she got everything. She reached over at the shelf to fetch a pair of tweezers and began plucking out some finer hairs that got missed.
"Look, I just want you to be safe, that's all." Her mother expressed tenderly.
"Yeah, I know, Mom. I will." Lara reassured.
"You're going to get arrested if you don't stop!"
"Mom! I promise! I'll be careful."
She put away the tweezers, hopped down and unplugged the sink, proceeding to her bedroom. There, she laid down on her bed, feeling the smoothness of her newly shaven pubis and labia.
Her mother slowly followed in, feeling like she needed to say something to reign her daughter under control. She felt guilty for not doing a better job of raising Lara during her more formative years and struggled to make up for lost time.
But what haunted her more than anything were some words Lara had told her a few years ago when she forcibly separated her from Teresa...
"She's my friend because you wouldn't love me!"
And ever since, she tried to make it up to Lara. But by this time, Lara's brain had already been wired.
"Well, I guess now that you're out of high school you can spend more time in the buff." She smirked.
Lara smiled.
"Just be careful about other people around, OK?" her mother pleaded.
"I will Mom."
Her mother sat down at the foot of the bed, and gently rubbed Lara's foot. Lara had already moved on from feeling the smoothness of her genitalia to stroking her clitoris, closing her eyes and retreating back into her naive little girl.
"Lara?" Her mother whispered.
Lara didn't answer. She was in the process of retreating back into her little girl alter.
Her mother realized there wouldn't be an answer from her eighteen-year old daughter. If she wanted to have a conversation, it would soon have to be with the six-year old Lara.
In the weeks after she and Teresa's mother forcibly separated their daughters from each other, she noticed Lara sinking into depression. Lara would touch herself outside of the bedroom, in front of her and her brothers. There were times when it became so bad she would go outside stark naked and walk down the sidewalk in broad daylight.
Her mother had taken Lara to a therapist, and continued meetings weekly for over a year. The therapist explained that Lara's masturbation was actually a defense mechanism she used to dissociate from the real world, taking her back to a safer place in her youth. The therapist surmised that her need for nurturing and love drove her to find someone like Teresa, whose mature, protective characteristics brought out a submissive, naive little child.
What the two didn't know was that there was a profound connection between six-year old Lara and her first grade teacher Miss Stanton. Lara looked at her teacher as her mother figure. In her twisted blend of memory and fantasy, Miss Stanton was there, inside her soul, holding the little girl's hand. Even after Lara graduated first grade, she continued to visit Miss Stanton after class, and did so all the way through the end of elementary school.
Touching herself was Lara's way to conjure up that safe place in her youth and find refuge from the pressures of adulthood.
