Lara awoke next morning to the sound of a garbage truck clanging across the street as its robotic arms poured containers of trash into its belly.
She looked up at her clock. 8:22 AM.
Lara stared at her ceiling trying to recall what she dreamed about. She could hear the back door shutting and then through her bedroom window saw her younger brother dragging a garbage container out to the sidewalk.
Lara felt safe in her bedroom.
Her stereo, her chest of drawers, her clock, her desk, a bookshelf, a few stuffed animals, were things she had since her younger years. Within them were ingrained the imprints of Lara's essence and spirit, her scent, her fingerprints, and DNA were all over them. They were a part of her biography and an extension of herself.
But after living the last six years nude at home, she wondered about her clothes.
If she was to live and work at a nudist resort, why would she ever need them?
She thought about it for a couple more minutes.
Lara got up out of bed and opened her chest of drawers. There were several pairs of panties and socks, including dozens of tops, t-shirts, pants, and shorts. In her closet were several coats and dresses, some of which were handed down to her by her mother and grandmother.
She reasoned that people who don't smoke don't own ash trays, people who don't drink don't keep bottles of liquor. So why should a nudist own clothes?
She could hear the garbage truck moving further down the other side of the street.
The "real Lara" was daring, and this was a daring conclusion. The ends justifying the means very much defined this recent high school grad, and if she was going to dedicate herself to a life of nudity, then why not start now? Why be afraid? Why not jump right into the deep end right now?
That old lingering phrase Teresa burned into her brain continued to ring out...
"Don't think about who's watching or what's around you, only think about me."
Somehow that stuck with her and translated itself in a variety of ways, even with "real Lara".
Lara walked out of her bedroom and into the kitchen to grab a few trash bags, then carried them back into her bedroom. Drawer by drawer, she began filling up the bags quickly before the garbage truck arrived at her house.
Next up, the closet.
There hung some beautiful dresses that seemed too much of a shame to toss into a trash bag. She felt the ones her grandmother gave her, and noticed another dress she wore to her grandfather's funeral. Lara was conflicted. Maybe she could just leave them here?
But she wanted to be a nudist. And to be one, in her mind, meant never to compromise.
These dresses were only pieces of cloth and contained nothing of her essence and spirit. They weren't a part of her naive, little girl. One by one, she pulled down every dress, jacket and coat and put them all into the bags.
She dragged them out of her bedroom and through a hallway towards the backdoor. Then she dragged them across the driveway and out to the sidewalk and left them next to the garbage container.
A neighbor was walking her dog across the street and noticed Lara fully nude and stared at her with a strange face.
Lara walked to her front porch and sat on the steps and waited for the garbage truck to circle around and return down her side of the street. She entertained the thought of retrieving her clothes. But she couldn't find any reason to take them back.
"Hey, freak!" a couple of younger boys yelled out as they rode by on their bicycles.
And then moments after that, a next door neighbor pulled their car out of the driveway and started down the road, shaking his head after seeing her nude on the porch.
The sounds of people yelling at her, staring at her, began to conjure up feelings of anxiety. She stood up from the porch and opened the front door to the house, stepping into doorway. The house still provided her with a sense of protection. But she stopped to turn around and watch for the garbage truck.
The garbage truck was only half way down the block.
Thoughts of retrieving the bags of clothes once again crept into her mind. But the on-going depressive state of her eighteen-year old personality warped her sense of reality. The fact that she never developed personal boundaries didn't help either. But now, she was determined to become a full time nudist.
The garbage truck crept closer, one house after another.
Lara reasoned she could at least save the dresses her grandmother gave her. It was probably the only thing she had left from her. But Lara paid no attention to sentimental value, and focused only her goal.
Lara stood up on her feet as the truck arrived at her house and immediately picked up the trash container and emptied it. Then the driver stepped out of the truck and picked up the garbage bags of her clothes. Lara felt a rush of adrenaline come over her. She stepped through the doorway and back on to the porch. The driver looked at Lara and smiled, and then tossed the bags of clothes into the truck, and drove to the next house.
Lara watched for another moment, and then returned back into the house.
Her younger brother was seated on the couch.
"Lara, were you outside naked again?" He asked.
Lara continued into the kitchen.
"Mom's going to get mad at you!" He shouted.
"Shut up! She answered.
Lara felt elated, as if she had taken her first step.
